The doctor refuses to give me any more medication

Laurie - lcantin@earthlink.net

I found your website today and was so excited to actually find that I was not alone.

I had a bad fall off my horse 6 months ago. I had never broken a bone or had any injury in my whole 37 years of life. This was a first. The pain from the fall was so intense that I passed out. I didn't manage to get to a doctor for 2 days in the mean time I was pretending that is was nothing, just a bad fall with bruises but the pain was so bad that I knew it had to be something worse.

After x-rays we found that I had fractured my sacrum all the way across from one side to the other. I was in shock and very scared. I love riding my horse it is my life. The thought of never riding again was enough to put me over the edge. I am a very active person so it has been hard to follow all of the doctors advice on activities and lifting heavy object etc. I'm sure I have not helped the healing process by pushing myself to the point of screaming pain.

It has been 6 months and I am still in pain. I have been on Vicodin since the beginning. I don't know how I would have gotten through all of this without it. As a Graphic designer I am sitting for several hours at a time this is very hard to do without the medication. Some days I try to see how long I can go without taking the medication, this does not last long. At one time the doctor was very slow in calling the refill in to the pharmacy that was the longest 2 days of my life. I couldn't go to work, I couldn't cook dinner I couldn't do anything without pain.

I have taken my medication today. I have 1 pill left and I do not think that the doctor will be giving me anymore medication. The nurse left me a very cold message on the phone telling me that the doctor would not be calling in the new prescription. He has recommended I get an MRI, my appointment is in 3 days. What will I do for those 3 days? I don't know. The anticipation of the pain to come is depressing. I have work to do, my brothers wedding, Christmas in 6 days and an 11 year old turning 12 on Christmas day. I want to be happy during the holiday, I'd like to enjoy everything but I've been through this before and I know it will not be a fun time.

Why would the doctor decide not to give me the medication? I can understand if I had a broken arm or some part of me that did not need to be used but the coccyx is used so much in our bodies movement. I don't think that anyone realizes the seriousness of the pain. It seems that every thing that I do revolves around using that stupid coccyx.

I exercise, I eat right, I never drink alcohol and I try to keep a positive attitude can I help it if I'm still hurting? I can't live on drugs but I do need something for the times when I just can't make it go away. Doesn't the doctor have a duty to make sure that I am not suffering for no reason? Because of the pain, I get depressed and I get angry. My family has suffered a great deal, I am not the same person I was 6 months ago. I no longer talk about it because I'm sure that everyone is sick of hearing about it. No one really seemed to care much anyway. If they don't see a "cast" then they don't see the pain. I've lost a good job and had to turn down another.

I work as a waitress now, that does not require sitting but after 4 hours on my feet my whole body is screaming. A slow limp starts and then the pain shoots down my left leg. I would take anything that would make that kind of pain go away.

I do not believe that a person in true pain can be addicted to pain medication. If the medication is the only thing that can give me back a semi-normal life then why can't people like me use it? How long is too long and what else should I do. I've tried several different massages, exercise and stretching. I've tried sleeping pills, mattress covers, special pillows, heat pads, baths, showers... I don't have the funds for a specialist.

How long could this pain last? Will it heal? Should I find a new doctor? I'm at the giving up stage and I don't know what else to do.

I would love to have one of those special saddle covers that Julie Rogers made. Thanks to her for giving out that information, now I just need to find a way to make one.

Sincerely,

Laurie

Updated 2003-12-21

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