No blue skies ahead....only gray storm clouds

Margaret - myfield31@yahoo.com

Posted 2006-06-18

Wow! After reading all of these stories, I am truly scared out of my mind and pretty damn depressed to go along with it. It is hard to see the wonder and joy in the world right now when all I can see is the stars from the pain. I could sure stand to hear a positive story or two….maybe how it brought you and a friend, relative, pet, hobby, whatever closer together or how it taught you to appreciate other things in life that you may have taken for granted. There has to be something good enough to tell that can relate to the pain and suffering. Anyone heard of any studies or trials? Have you met someone new close to you as a result of the injury? SOMETHING!!!!

I am a 29 year-old (it sure did sneak up on me) female from Baltimore, MD and the back issues I have are incredible. I had just recently found relief from the majority of my pain from L4 and L5 being herniated and having facet joint pain in April thanks to an epidural, medical branch block and 800 Mg of a NSAI every day. Then on June 10th, at my soon to be new sister’s bachelorettte party, my ass met the stairs at the bar and got acquainted real quick like and with plenty of force. Falling is nothing new to me and I have some great stories including falls. I was pretty wasted at the time so the initial pain wasn’t bad…my toe was bleeding all over my new white shoes so that took priority… but my bottom definitely hurt. Two days later it was screaming but I was able to calm it with the left over Vicodin I had from my last medical branch block. After arguing with my doctors just trying to see someone, Iended up at a semi-emergency place and got x-rayed. They showed that it was fractured.

The pain is soooo intense. I can’t believe I walked around for 5 days trying to shake it off and hoping it would fade like a bruise. A doctor at my PCP saw me today and gave what felt like my last rights. The percocets he gave me help greatly but make it go away to the point where I am afraid that I am going to hurt it worse by not being able to feel it. On top of everything, it has aggravated my back and the two together are a real dandy of a time. Any position in which my coccyx is bearable makes my back bitch. Life is miserable right now.

The worst part may be how others try to act like they have sympathy but at times almost seem like they doubt you and your pain. Others have no idea what you are going through and it is such and abstract thing. Then add the fact that I can’t DO anything that involves leaving the house, and you got no fun. Did I mention that I am single?!?!? I guess that will be put on hold too. Just what I was hoping for….single, 30, all hemmed up and miserable looking forward to it.

I have an appointment with my pain management specialist in about a month and according to them , he can only address my coccyx with a referral since it is a new issue (WHAT?!?!?!?) I also have my only brother’s wedding in less than a month and I am sure I will enjoy that.

Life looks awfully bleak and painful from this vantage point. My problems just keep mounting and I am too injured to climb anymore. I hope things look up soon.

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