Personal story

Emily Weber - weber.emk@gmail.com

Posted 2011-12-11

Hello Everyone,

I was randomly doing a search on Google about tailbones and came across this site. My dad was teaching me how to ride my brand new mountain bike when he broke his tailbone. He was getting off of the seat and just like that he had severe nerve damage from this freak accident. He went through the removal of his tailbone, he was on all different kinds of medication, had a pain pump surgically implanted in his stomach, went to so many doctors, the whole deal. He dealt with this pain for four years until he took his life in 2002 because the pain was just unbearable.

The point of this post is not to encourage this of course! But to tell you what the last years of his life were like. Despite the constant pain that he felt, he would always, always be so positive. Of course there were many letdowns and upsets, but as a whole he was the strongest, most positive person I have ever known.

I was the ages of 8 to 12 years old when my dad was going through this pain, and I remember my mom always saying to me, "Your dad is so strong…anyone else in his position would lay in bed all day and not do anything". Which is sometimes the only thing you can do because of the excruciating pain, but what made him so strong was the constant attempt to get out of bed, to always take us on adventures, teach us things, and to love us as he always did before the pain. One of my favorite memories is the icepack that was always in the back of his pants J

My dad always said that everything happens for a reason. There was no indication to our family that he had had any thoughts of suicide. I just wanted to tell my story to everyone who is suffering right now to stay strong and fight through. I do believe my dad had this mentality, and I can't tell you what went through his head when he decided to take his own life, but I do believe if you stay strong and stay positive, relief will come your way.

Being in excruciating pain is simply unfair. But I believe that without seeing my dad remain so strong through his suffering, I wouldn't be the strong person I am today. Keep fighting through the hardest times…like my dad always said, "God never gives you more than you can handle".

I really do mean for this post to be inspirational to keep pushing through. Take every day one day at a time…try not to worry about next month or ten years from now. All you can do is focus on what is right in front of you and appreciate all that is in your life.

Please let me know if you would like to talk! I feel as though there are so many more things I have to say, yet don't know how to fit them in. I would truly like to have conversations with those who have also suffered from broken tailbones because I have never come across anyone else who has heard of the excruciating pain that it can cause. I wish you all the very best of luck!

Thank you :)

Note from Jon: This is a subject that doesn't often get discussed, but is sometimes in the thoughts of people in chronic pain. Despite the sad outcome of this story, I thought it was right to post it up on the site. If you get desperate at times, you are not alone. Emily welcomes emails about this, and you are welcome to email me. There is a discussion group for sufferers - see t-bones. Some others have mentioned suicidal thoughts - see Alan's story, Dee Ann's story, Anonymous's story, John's story.

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